if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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