I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
