At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
