I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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