And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
