That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Randomize
