There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
