Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
