oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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