its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
