I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
