So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
