when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
