its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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