I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
