I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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