Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
