my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
