don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
