Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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