some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
