i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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