I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
