he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
