I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
