he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
