im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
