I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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