she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
