Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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