I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
