3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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