Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
