Kiss
Puke
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
