I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
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