Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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