Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
