And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
