I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The beer is more important than you right now.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
