My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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