I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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