I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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