i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
