Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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