yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
