my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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