i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
