Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
