I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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