eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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